


she was a reason to start again

by rories



Series: sifki week 2019 [3]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Body Worship, F/M, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 03:14:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19985152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rories/pseuds/rories
Summary: “We have both cheated death,” she whispers, running a hand through his hair, trailing it down to his neck.“Yes,” he answers, pushing her hair from her face.  “And it brought me back to you.”





	she was a reason to start again

**Author's Note:**

> follows immediately after 'we were under the same sky at least'

The first time they sleep together after Loki returns from Valhalla, they are almost fully clothed and it’s over quicker than Loki feels comfortable with. They’d been so eager for each other after the battle against Thanos that they’d wasted no time once making it back to her apartment. 

The second time had been slower, Sif welcoming him back from so long apart. He’d fallen apart under her gentle touches and deep kisses, but she had guided him away whenever he tried to return the favor. 

Since then, they have barely spent a night apart. They don’t always have sex, but it definitely happens more than it had back on Asgard, when they were keeping it a secret.

He notices that she never lets him remove her tops, always grabbing his hands and forcing him down to the nearest surface before he can lift it over her head. He doesn’t mind it because he loves every part of her, clothed or not, but he can’t help but wonder why it is. 

It takes him weeks to work up the courage, but finally, after she pushes his hands away from the buttons of her shirt once more, he has to know. He pulls back from her completely, leaning back until he’s resting with his legs tucked under him. Sif is spread out under him, dark hair splayed across the pillows, and she shoots him a questioning look. 

“You don’t need to hide from me,” Loki whispers, slightly breathless and one hand is playing with one of her shirt buttons. 

“What do you mean?” 

He leans back down over her hovering over her mouth and teases a kiss. “I want to touch you,” he says against her lips, pulling away when he feels her shift towards him. He shifts his fingers lower, thumbing the hem of her shirt and brushing the skin of her stomach, but not pushing her further. 

“You are touching me,” comes her cocky reply, walking her own fingers up his arms to his shoulders. She tries to pull him closer, but he holds himself over her. 

“Sif,” he says pleadingly, taking a chance and pressing his fingers more surely against her abdomen. Underneath him, he feels her tense up and immediately pulls away. “I’m sorry,” he says, removing his hand. 

She catches it before it gets to far away and brings it to her mouth. “No, it’s not - It’s not you, Loki,” she says and presses a kiss to his fingers. A moment later she pushes at his shoulder, maneuvering him back into his original position and pulling herself up to sit against the headboard. 

“A lot has happened since you’ve been gone,” she starts, her eyes not meeting his. “Thanos’ army came to Midgard many times after he, you know. Between them and the occasional human skirmish...Loki, my body is no longer the same.” 

Loki eyes her up and down, taking in her lithe figure, still so full of strength, even without the rigorous Asgardian training. “You look fine to me,” he says with a smirk. 

Sif doesn’t say anything, just takes a deep breath and slips a button through a hole at the bottom of her shirt. Loki sucks in a breath when her fingers brush against him, but lets her continue upward. He doesn’t say anything as button after button comes undone, just lets her take her own pace until finally she is loose. 

“It is not pretty,” she warns. 

“You’re beautiful,” he replies. 

He lets her pull apart either side of her shirt and swallows hard at what he sees. In between her frankly spectacular breasts is a dark scar that bisects her from her clavicles to the base of her sternum. There are other smaller scars across her torso, some he recognizes from Before and some that appear to be new. But the one in the middle is the most prominent, the most terrifying. 

Loki’s brows furrow and his fingers move to brush across the darkened skin only to jerk back when Sif flinches. 

“It’s awful,” she whispers and doesn’t meet his gaze. 

He’s slow with his movements, moving his hands to the bed on either side of her and leaning back down. His nose brushes against hers and he can feel her breath stuttering against his mouth as he presses a light kiss to it. “You’re beautiful,” he whispers again into her mouth and catches her sob with a kiss, deeper than before. 

Sif’s fingers find purchase in the space between his ribs as he moves his kiss from her lips to her cheek, following a familiar line to her jaw and pressing kisses there as well. “It’s proof of my failure,” she whispers thickly. 

Loki pulls from her again, just enough to look over her face and bring a hand between them. This time she doesn’t pull away as he brushes one finger down the line on her chest. The skin there is thick and while the scar is not wide, it is thick. Below him, Sif shivers and he watches goosebumps bloom across her skin. 

He presses another kiss to the hinge of her jaw but then quickly moves to kiss her neck and further still to her collarbone and then the top of her breast. He’s had to shift his body down further and she cradles him in between her legs. From where he is now, he shoots her a look, looking for any sign that she wants him to stop. When he sees nothing, he kisses her breast again and then moves toward the center of her chest. 

His lips follow the path his fingers had taken along her scar, leaving hot kisses in the middle of her chest. He can feel a tenseness still her muscles, so he lets his hand travel to her other breast, squeezing slightly and reveling in the slight shudder that runs through her body. 

“This is not a failure, sweet Sif,” he says, kissing her skin again. “It is not a weakness or a sign of fragility.” He follows the scar down her chest and presses a hot kiss to her stomach. “It is proof. Proof that you are still with me. Proof that you are alive. Proof that you are strong.” Each sentence is punctuated by another hot kiss against her skin. 

“We have both cheated death,” she whispers, running a hand through his hair, trailing it down to his neck. There are no scars left from Thanos’ attack on his fair skin, but she imagines the bruising that should be there and her heart stutters in fear. 

He must see the flicker of fear on her face because he moves himself back up to hover over her, pressing himself between her legs, skin to skin. The next kiss he gives her is harsher, more desperate than before and she clutches at him as she reciprocates in kind. When she pulls away for air only a moment later, he is looking at her with adoration and a fierceness that makes her stomach swoop. 

“Yes,” he answers, pushing her hair from her face. “And it brought me back to you.”

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know what i'm doingggggggg


End file.
